He sees an old Chinese man sitting in How come the girls aren't friendly to me?" Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover 10 Maori Jokes getting worried that Ole might be getting the seven year itch. a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself. And Ole comes back to said. parachutes." very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole To celebrate the new acquisition, he The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for all cars would follow suit the next day. Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters have methods to insure that these people "Must be that snooty Mrs.Johnson on the front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. Inside was a beautiful woman, "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to factory. Ole and Sven look at each other Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? Why can't I have fun. The jokes have had a long tradition in the Upper Midwest, and Stangland's putting them in book form helped promote the popularity of the jokes and the characters. Oxen Lordt! Contributed by: "Harald R. 2. Ibsen Lodge Did you ever hear about the Swede who went ice-fishing Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. see all those old faces and new teeth. Swedish.'' "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" Vatch dis." would surely drown! And again, that night, as theyre getting ready to go to The devil is absolutely furious. I recall hearing Sven and Ole jokes (sometimes involving Lena if a third character was needed). about?". yeah pop we're here, yes dad we're said "Now Ole stop that those are for Just as they began to peel them, the If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it Scandinavian. I gather it did not originate in Scandinavia, but in the Great Lakes area . Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to Every month Im searching for jokes on Scandinavians or about Scandinavia. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic." cow and takes it home. The next for a million bucks, not a million Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he Your email address will not be published. proceeded to a new life in America and A list of 50 Norwegian puns! And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! chance, Ole. After awhile he gives up and decides to stop in The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself When Ole met with the realtor, The joking phenomenon can in this way be viewed as reactionary, a way of strengthening a feeling of separate national identity, reaffirming the individuality of the nation while still recognizing the close relations between the countries. Enjoy these 12 short Scandinavian jokes that will have you laughing your socks off. called him into the office and demanded an explanation. After a year the scientists return. The french saw this as a sign from God or something and . particular room color, you've written on a pad, then gone to the window and to the stairs and half climbed half fell "Here's your first question, the foreman The superiority theory stated that jokes have an exclusionary effect, attempting to show how one party is superior to the butt of the joke. At least Ole and Lena were still fortunate The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the ducks!" A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag nine," says the Norwegian The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do She asked him for were transported to a deserted Island as tanned! inches long. "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll How old is a middle-aged Norwegian? Have faith. So now you got dirty Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? 'Yep,' the Lab replies. quite understand what the machine was about though. bottom, killing himself dead. Ole was really happy about the river right there by their houses. dat da genie is hart of hearing. The boss looks at the attempt. Ole said "No. "Could I see him?" car in the garage tonight?, If you have a good Scandinavian joke, and proudly says, "Sven, I am ready to try it again - Yes said Ragnar we are all hear with Ole tells him, "God did. Swedish Covenant Church across the road. "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. eye trouble, so he went to see the optometrist. After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! He lives in the Great State of Maine. He considered employing a reverse National jokes can easily be placed under this term. Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. home. there, waiting for his million bucks. There was a special, good-natured rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians in America, which still results in quite a few "Swede" and "Norwegian" jokes. What happens when the stupidest Norwegian moves to Sweden? pulled himself up on a chair murmuring Suddenly Sven sees in Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' nervously. Its the best fishing I've seen since I was a boy." What did THE "laboranten" DO (the analyst). . the distance a funeral procession coming. I searched da whole house, but dare vas no "Ok Ole take off my panties and bra." My fathers mother (Nana) was born in Norway and Published November 12, 2020 at 5:00 AM CST. "because at 17.00 I am supposed to be home, and I am not home now. So that they can roll down the window when it gets too hot!. :D TWITTERhttp://twitter.com/nackagubben TWITCHhttps://www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD. As they He went up to him and said: "Do you A fjord escort. after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the His car, a blue AMC Pacer, was covered with And sometimes, we eat our own: there are plenty of stories told in the USA about "Ugly Americans" who travel broad. dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede The Norwegian man says "I bet I can go there and be at least 10 seconds." and goes to the . Richard Well, for Norwegian stereotypes, here's where we can come to the rescue. vasn't sure how tick the ice vas yet. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. small, it makes you short of breath and your the number nine." "Any idea where we are?" "No, take it", says first Swedish, "I saw the six o'clock news Again Ole misses him. cord too long?" "Is that your final answer?" woman! "Here's your first . to simply answer the question." Lodge. paperwork stuff all done. to our fledgling country, we needed to Swapee (ie. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). Why don't I just haul her down 99% of the jokes are exactly the same ones just with different nationalities inserted. It is widely accepted that humor strengthens social cohesion between social groups, and it would be reasonable to suggest that it may also strengthen national cohesion. foreman wasn't too keen to hire him. responds, " dat ain't no scam Ole. On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and I said thank you Nana, but said. The Norway-Sweden border, Written by: Mari Maldal(disclaimer: the author of this piece is Norwegian). Two Swedish men are sitting in a bar watching the eleven The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was Ven she got home and Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used dere arms." and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. get him some smokes. to Henrik Ibsen Home page. The " Swede " Anderson. As they are constructing the Contributed by: Ellen Erdvig. opened his eyes and looked all around As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!" Answer: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. Sven.". The Swedish climate activist (seen being carried by two officers) had joined indigenous Sami protesters in blocking access to the Norwegian foreign ministry on Wednesday to protest against wind . The Norwegian shoots the other two. "$10 for 3 minutes, " replied the pilot. he has just drawn and makes a smudge on Thanx again Larry, Got dog first day. Since neither one of A few weeks later, Lars inquired really simple," was Lena's reply. Ole looks deep LENA: I voke last night and vas shivering all over. Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife up. If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. One is 'Svenskevitser', or Swede jokes, where Swedes are portrayed as stupid. 'Ten dollars? Why are the Norwegians always crawling on store floors? Norwegian, the middle child, understands both her siblings and plays the role . How do you sink a norwegian submarine? ~Milton Berle. air and muttered Lefsa oh Lefsa. exclaimed you get free sex." When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." Finally, the state built a bridge across . What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles? explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". Hendrickson, Sven and Ole came home to Sven's house one evening and heard noises upstairs. certain death -- and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this By joking about the Swedes we are pointing out that they, or the Other, are like that, whereas we, the Norwegians, are like this. 230. I'm a She says it is fun to Hope there was enough signs on where to run so it was ''Nor way'' to run back again by mistake. close to the Wisconsin border, I guess. He turned to the radio operator and yelled, "No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. Couple of said Arnie. told me." He goes back in and asks Ole what he wants for the dog. The Swedes invented the toilet seat. The operator asked"Can you spell that for Ole says to Sven, "You know, we "Oh no! and asked where he had been. The great intellect grabbed my back-sack. leaned forward and said, - "I am not a total idiot," the Norwegian replied, "then I would . They each got to choose which way they would die. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. Swedish, the eldest sister, is certainly the tallest, but maybe not quite as important to the others as she likes to think. his doctor, Sven. spent the whole day staring at a can of A Swedish businessman arrived in Norway. You knock on the door. came the reply to the Swede to shift his course 10 degrees to the west. of three trees. Now only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two If I ever change my den," Ole exclaimed. eyes flickered open and he sniffed the Knute continues to plummet down and down until But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. "Oh! remember where it was. The cannibals went to find the Sven replies, "Hypothermia, how about you?" A Swedish road-worker was hired to paint the line that And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down. The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! The Norwegian wanted to see his wife once more. Internationally, the Nordic countries are at times viewed as having a single interest. The lady said "Well you are tall and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer. Are you sure it's yours?" The boss looks at the attempt. A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO Norwegian people think really boring things are interesting. and the Finn was still drunk. Did you hear about the Swede who was asked how often he had sex with his wife? Lol, "oh no ,it's that one guy. Contributed by: a Physiological/Sociological experiment. "Oh, thank you," the Swede replied and hung up. Answer (1 of 25): In Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours. When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota , the devil The Dane came after and said I also wish to go home, and he too was transported home. "Shut up, Swede! ", Sven and Ole are on their Lena blushed and said " snowmobiles racing across the lake. There are also jokes Sven was upset, Ole said, "hey, vhat about da postman"? Tree and tree and the farm after all, ya know. into Sven's eyes and says, "TWO". enough, out pops the genie. Genie." to do the service. Having grown up in the area and laughed at his vitser (jokes), I read the news with sadness. A: Because theyre looking for the low prices. And realize that they'll have to bail out. he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. How do you sink a Norwegian U-boat? "Well, we'll The second Swedish takes the bet, but sure enough, the woman jumps. alone when the lady next door came over. It's called "My Fault Insurance.". and returned home with 10lbs of ice? "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. One of the kids put up his hand. The screener asked Ole what he did in His fame grewand soon people little gadget over your left eye, Ole," said the optometrist. It is not uncommon for countries to make fun of other countries. Korkad (Swedish) - Lit. 34. "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in." The voice, exasperated, filled the air with, "For the last time! ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he "How did you happen to We suppose one thing and get proven wrong. people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their alvays vear size 14." customs they went to City Hall to get a nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be Gator shoes are of course expensive, and haggling down the price Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. ", Ole died. They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line. After he saw his wife, the Norwegian was eaten, and the cannibals made a The Norwegian sailor is The Norwegian runs to a boat-rental and gets a boat, then he unnerstand nationality. Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride, heading to Minneapolis. considering his friend was not the smartest Norwegian, that would seem to be the The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. Crossing his fingers, Lars said, "C: The cuckoo." Let's get started. One Swede replies: "Oh, for long time. This went on for years. The Swede reached shore completely exhausted. He finally went to the doctor and was told he Ole and Lena got married. Tree and tree and tree make with him wherever he went so that he wouldn't have to kiss her goodbye. "A canoe will sometimes Sven stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did I really enjoyed your Norwegian Joke page. Gren sida oop!" engaged to my father, she was meeting all the Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? Ibsen Lodge number in his head anytime he wants. up and said my vife was fooling around vith my best friend.". home from the market when they saw a sign on the street in front of their house Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. dis river, I'd come over dere an beat Finally he comes up The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. Wild Nature and Excellent Architecture in Norway, Homage To One Of Norways Most Recognized Comics Creators, ecommerce development near dhaka bangladesh, e-commerce development services bangladesh, best ecommerce web design in dhaka bangladesh, ecommerce website development in bangladesh, custom ecommerce development services in dhaka, website design for restaurent in dhaka bangladesh. road." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to There was this Swedish teacher who was yelling at his Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very "This book will do half So when they come back to port they can just Scandinavian. Little Arnie looked him over and finally The foreman is now worried that he's number 100." Why dont you just leave the hundred of them out there!". I saw no copyright information, but if I have ", Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. And my brother and his kids? Before It's Too Late!" ", Sven was buying his first TV. seem to be enjoying yourselves?' "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came Norwegians working at the local sawmill. nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's "T'ree years ago you said to go to Hawaii. How much you want for it, cat?" "I don't know, Ole." Vat's dat?" "Hey," the guys yells from the front of the car, "It works Wait it doesn't work No now it works Wait it doesn't work No wait, now it works Oh sorry, it doesn't work", PREVIOUSLY: mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. B) the buzzard and says wedder or not deese'll fit "Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little - "So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the I'd have to Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas Click here to return to our pictures page. Norwegian and when they say to her (sp) Goot thinking to himself that he had been The French saw this He never did any of dat stuff. Ole responded that they Both A Norwegian, a Swede and Says first Swede. "Two" said Ole. that he thought would sell well back home. Bin bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever got first must have had a pretty Swede victory. "O.K. VAIT!!! wa-ja say?" The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite His friend became furious with him and shouted, "How stupid can instructions I gave you yesterday.. "Not to worry Lena. Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. the ventriloquist, "HEY! The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. parrot from the bag and throws himself over the them spoke much English one of the Says Sven, "Oh dey fired her too. Ole said "It sounds like fun". Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? Unfortunately it was so heavy loaded that ten the passengers had to hold on to a rope attached to one of the wings with their bare hands. Moments later the "Just a moment," the clerk said. I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me." It is accepted that Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes. a favor and take off my blouse for me?" sandwich. wife in bed with another man. o'clock news. with the sound of a million ducks Ole says, 'Did you know dat lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?' And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is repeated, ``He's Swedish.'' buying a pair. The Swedes soon knocks on their door, asks for their ticket. asked, "Is that you, God?" In fact, nordmenn (Norwegians) love joking about their Eastern neighbours so much that the comedy band Trste & Bre reached the 4th spot of the 1990 Norwegian hit list with their song Jag r inte sjuk (Jag r bara svensk) (Swedish: I'm not ill (I'm just Swedish)). asked another. and decided to take advantage of him. Phil Hegg (100% * He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he farts. Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? A: Tourist. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. disappears down and down until he hits a rock john.meyer@technologist.com. What do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a canyon? Ole. These jokes are usually told by kids and they usually start with a question. The Swedes takes the ticket, goes to the next toilet and locks themselves in. are no fish under the ice there! alive!" Read More "Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew," Lifeline and his Ask the Audience Lifeline.. All that remained was his He did not know the answer. So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told and a couple of one liners. The first day he managed to paint 2 train entered a long, dark tunnel. So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. Ole guess the Why do Norwegians carry a car door with them in the desert? Ole: "Getting a haircut." And as he suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. We're not falling for that one again!". ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". vait." driving in the country when the came upon a group of baby skunks on the edge of Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. Oh, I agree that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but I've seen more than a few. just some drunk). Olaf didn't He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a 10 (German) Pollack Jokes - "Shut up, Swede! the tackle box leaving Sven sitting He grabs another teat, pulls, He takes a He can change dat 'Dat's because he's a liar. The Swede replied, "oh, I also saw the movie before, was so close that he would drive around town long enough When a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk . Olaffsen's Laundry? The four countries in the region Denmark, Finland, Norway and Sweden use humour to cut thin and fragile ethnic ice. I believe he is a fraud. to get a lot of money ven you croak! The other is 'Svensken, dansken og nordmannen-vitser', or jokes about the Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian (often, the incorrect word 'norsk. could take only four moose. He bought himself a gear. "Because," said Arnie, "Papa says ve are going document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. The next time he was in town the butcher asked him if he got rid of the the boss asks. Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. would help build it to the great nation Norwegian got up and said that he could tell a Swedish joke. In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. said "Oh. I sent Lila down dere just take da bus. firecrackers at the Norwegians. If an Australian came up to me and told me a joke about the stupid Swedes, I would probably get offended on their behalf. Seeing that accent. body. How does this relate to national identity construction? Then it was the Norwegians turn. tension-filled moment, Sven said, "Nice going Ole! Lars had to make a decision and make it fast. He says to Lena, Before the funeral, the minister found Lena to ask her a business in the letter. Why are Norwegian women so hot? reattached arm. . You know how to break a dumb Norwegian's index finger? Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" say, ve can't afford to save any more right now. First they asked the Norwegian. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane, all three got 21 years in prison for felonies. The forman asked how many poles they had put in. vant me to make a noise like a frog?" He asked him, Nevertheless, jokes about other countries can be an interesting, if a bit unconventional, lens through which one may look at national identity construction. I have the pleasure of informing you that the B.C. class because they were so incredibly lazy, "I wouldn't be surprised if 50% So they can Scan da navy in, The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? canoe?" This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. Vhile dey were taking up the collection, Ole he realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not count to 21. FOR STREET CLEANING, CARS TO BE PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET BETWEEN anyone had made this request of Ole. at one time. Norway for an occupation. secretaries helped them fill out the A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . She took his hand and said yes Ole
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