And I know that a lot of people don't accept it. It promotes gender equality and may psychologically affect women in those marriages in the long run. Consequently, in order to give people the option to explore new partners and to make life more interesting in general, polygamy can also make quite a lot of sense in this regard. The primary occasion then for the provision of polygamy is in war-time situations. And in all make sure your happiness is your priority. Sex keeps relationships together. List of Cons of Polygamy. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Your email address will not be published. Instead, you can stay at home and choose the partner you want to spend time with according to your preferences. [Fornication and adultery is preferable to the polygamy legislated by God in the revealed scriptures. Islam, as a universal religion that is suitable for all times and places, can not ignore these compelling obligations. Furthermore, their role is often limited to the kitchen, handling house chores, and birthing children. 3. Another problem with polygamy is that you will also need a bigger home in order to accommodate all of your spouses. However, Christianity does not endorse polygamous marriages, although a lot of Christian saints had numerous wives and also concubines. 1. And we revealed to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, the Descendants, Jesus, Job, Jonah, Aaron, and Solomon, and to David We gave the book of Psalms. Quraan 4:163, And Noah, We guided before; and among his descendants, David and Solomonand Job and Joseph and Moses and Aaron. Research from the United Nations shows that women in such marriages/families are prone to serious emotional abuse. Rather there is in it justice for women and goodness. As for the ancient patriarchs, for example, King Solomon had 700 wives and also 300 concubines. PostedJanuary 4, 2018 There is infidelity and sick psychotics that commit bad deeds in the name of personal freedom. Lets talk about the rarer polyandry first. The fact that you are not the only wife may naturally make him less sensitive since his other wives aren't throwing so many tantrums. The person having many spouses usually has the upper hand in the family. The bottom line is, men sneak around because they are not permitted to have multiple wives. Polygamy in Islam Conditions and Advantages Unhappiness, loneliness, sense of competition and jealousy, and lack of intimacy with the spouse were identified as disadvantages of polygyny. Third theme: The coping strategies used by polygamous women have included faith in religion, fate role, and compromise with the co-wives. If he wants more, he'll just marry more wives without technically hurting anyone's feelings since the wives know the type of relationship they signed up for. It's best to avoid confusing kids as you don't know what outcomes it could lead to in the future. Islamic literature completely contradicts this denigrating account of the Prophet Solomon (Sulaymaan). How excellent a slave he was ever oft-returning in repentance to us. Quraan 38.30, Solomon the son of David said, Tonight I will sleep with seventy wiveseach of whom will conceive a child who will be a knight fighting for Allahs Cause. His companion said, If Allah wills. But Solomon did not say so out of forgetfulness; therefore none of those women got pregnant except one who gave birth to a half child., The Prophet () further said, If the Prophet () Solomon had said it (i.e. In adulterous and promiscuous relationships, women are treated like sexual objects having no rights over the man who uses them and discards them. In turn, this will imply an additional financial burden on you and you should make sure that you can afford having multiple partners in order to protect yourself from any financial difficulties related to your polygamous lifestyle. Instead of divorcing each other, the guy can have another spouse who wants children. Thus do We reward the doers of good. Quraan 6:84, And We gave understanding of the case to Solomon, and to each [of them] We gave judgement and knowledge. 21:79, And to Solomon We subjected the wind, blowing forcefully, proceeding by his command toward the land which We had blessed. Neel Burton, M.D., is a psychiatrist, philosopher, and writer who lives and teaches in Oxford, England. So plural marriage alleviates this difficulty in society without doubt. If Allah wills) he would have begotten children who would have fought in GodsCause., Shuaib and Ibn Abi Az-Zinad said, Ninety women is more correct (than seventy). Reported Sahih al-Bukhari 3424. Going through the pros and cons, the benefits are undeniable. Depending on your preferences, this can mean that you only have two spouses or even numerous different spouses at the same time.The exact number is up to you and to your individual preferences. Al-Hfidh Ibn Hajr (rahimahullh) said: 991: Narrated Abu Hurairah(radiyallaahu anhu): Allaahs Messenger (salallaahu alaihi wassallam) said: It is not permitted [read on], Advice on Polygynous Marriages And to Women Seeking Marriage in General. Unhappiness, loneliness, sense of competition and jealousy, and lack of intimacy with the spouse were identified as disadvantages of polygyny. They accused him of debauchery, fornication and even idolatry and apostasy. Polygamy is only encouraged by the Koran where it concerns "oppressed or the orphans among women" (4:3), if justice can be done by marrying . In a setting where there's an equal contribution of effort, the wives can alternate handling the house chores. So if he was to marry more than one woman then those difficulties would go away. Apart from serial cheats and highly undisciplined men, a guy that has multiple wives or spouses technically has more excitement going on under one roof. This resulted in a very civilized relationship between husband and wife in Islam. Therefore, it's not uncommon for arguments to erupt when a man isn't getting enough intimate time with his wife. Earthquakes Are From The Warning Signs Of Allah: The Advice Of Shaikh Abdul-Azz Ibn Bz (may Allahs mercy be upon him), Chapter 33: Put your trust in Allah if you truly believe. Kitb Al-Tawheed of Imm Muhammad Ibn Abdul-Wahhb, The Creed of Abul-Hasan Al-Ashari: Al-Ibnah an Usl Ad-Diynah: [7] The Principles of the Jahmiyyah and Mutazilah Which Led to the Deviations of the Kullbiyyah, Ashirah and MturdiyyahThe Story of Jahm Ibn Safwn (ex. After realizing I was the person that everyone around me always came to for dating advice, I decided to merge this skill with my profession writing. This is a sad story, and very surprising, of Solomons defection and degeneracy. In fact, in many polygamous relationships, spouses will be treated rather poorly and will also not be allowed to earn their own money. The need for divine guidance and wisdom to achieve this goal is fulfilled by Allah through his Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), which is following the path of Islam religion. Your kids might have a hard time understanding why his or her family is different from other families. Polygamy has many disadvantages, according to this post. Some have two rights: the right of Islam and the right of neighborhood. This condition will translate to a serious financial disadvantage for the woman and her kids. If you are looking at the pros and cons of polygamy for yourself or a friend, remember kids are fragile, and polygamy isn't as common as monogamy anymore. In the end, everyone should decide for themselves whether a polygamous lifestyle is suitable for them or if they rather want to spend their lives with only one partner instead. In monogamous relationships, an only child may only get to mingle with other kids and learn social skills when they get to school or other external playgroups. Since the guy has other spouses, the idea of splitting half of what he owns with one of the spouses that wish to leave cannot even be on the table. There are many conditions for polygamy in Islam: If a man is afraid that he will not be able to treat his wives justly if he marries more than one, then it is forbidden for him to marry more than one. If he was deprived that would oppose wisdom and oppose the benefits that Allaah has granted for his servants. Buddhism and Islam are religions that do not consider polygamous marriages a sin. The advantages of polygamy were included sharing in-house responsibilities and child-rearing. Benefits - You are following the First Main order of Allah. The men enjoy having multiple options, and the wives enjoy financial support and a family relationship that comes from being married. the time he stays and the money he spends. Additionally, men are more prone to diseases and illnesses than women; men are exposed to war and battle, and to dangers. The Quran in one verse states that men will not be able to be completely fair and advise one wife to avoid unjustness. Nevertheless, it must be stressed that in light of the fact that the most important benefit of marriage is familial love, tranquility, and affection, monogamy is far preferable to polygamy. 10Although he had forbidden Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the Lords command. If you want monogamy, that's totally okay. Clear lines of inheritance: Patriline. If you are looking at polygamy's pros and cons from the angle of a guy enjoying multiple sex partners only, you'll be blinded to this advantage. If this scenario exists, the least favorite wife may receive poor treatment or less attention. This also implies that you have to pay a much higher rent compared to a state where you were in a monogamousmarriage. 13:26. Most importantly, it is a matter of Pride, Piety, maintaining a clear pure lineage of children, keeping proper kinship, and having natural healthy family life for the upbringing of new generations. [size=16pt] ADVANTAGES OF POLYGAMY [/color][/size] 1. Fragile-States Index 2017. Please can you teach me on how to blog? Furthermore, polygamy helps in the expansion of man's gene pool, the reduction of boredom, and offers the excitement that comes with being sexually active with multiple women yet, technically, not hurt their feelings. Advantages of Polygamy Despite the numerous shortcomings of polygamy, it has the following advantages. on The Excellence of Makkah, its History and its Sacredness (The Masjid al-Harm). Till death do us part means a great deal more today than it ever did. In times of war, with high male absenteeism and mortality, polygyny supports population growth and replenishment by ensuring that every female can find a mate. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages of polygamy. The glory of his piety is stained by his departure from God and his duty, in his latter days, marrying strange wives and worshipping strange gods, 1 Kgs. So the Christian has only one wife. While this point may not be true at all times, there are chances a guy free to have many spouses will have no reason to sneak around outside relationships. Another con of polygamy is the high maintenance cost. This is not only a problem for the wives, but the idea may also be naturally passed to the children raised in such families. Advantages of polygamy can be that stereotypical 'female' roles can be shared. The benefits of polygamy are numerous both for the husband and hiswives and these benefits are not concealed from the person who has true insight, because if a man was restricted to just one woman whilst there are numerouswomen in a society, then many woman will be deprived of husbands. Presently, it is not a common practice in Islamic communities for a lot of reasons; e.g. Historically, most cultures that permitted polygamy permitted polygyny (a man taking two or more wives) rather than polyandry (a woman taking two or more husbands). Reduce cheating in marriage: Having more than one partner can reduce the rate of cheating. If you have a side chick that you constantly spending on, thats means you are in polygamy without knowing in financial terms, Your email address will not be published. This is not the case in reality at all! One potential advantage of polygamy in Islam is that it allows for the financial and emotional support of multiple wives and families. The reasons for polygamy differ from one case to another one, maybe these reasons are emotional, social, or financial, no matter what the reason is, there is a condition, which is treating wives with justice, and taking the decision based on Taqwa or God Consciousness. Being able to show not only my passion for writing, but also my passion to help others in their relationships, means the absolute world to me and I hope to continue doing so. So the fact that a man marries up to four woman and is in authority over them, looking after them, then that is a sharing of responsibility in order to prevent (unhealthy) celibacy, and prevent a society of single women deprived of a loving and caring marriage. Polygyny may be costly, but in the long term it can make a rich man richer still. (This is a section taken from an article of Shaikh Al-Fawznelsewhere on this site). Therefore, a case of one or more spouses engaging in sex outside a polygamy arrangement can infect everyone in the marriage with STDs. Not because he's sick or tired but because he's with someone else. In some circumstances, a man may take on additional wives if he is financially capable of supporting them and treating them all equally. 11So the Lord said to Solomon, Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. Laryngeal cancers, Rectal cancers, etc. For example, your kids friends could bully them, make fun of them, which may affect them negatively. In most cases, the objective is achieved through monogamy. Most people search for more excitement outside their marriage since adultery isn't a legal or an open option. In others, such as Russia and South Africa, it is illegal but not criminalized. The advantages of polygamy: Care, warmth and affection provided by wives or mistresses. Polygamy promotes jealousy within families. Polygamy is also practiced in modern America, Africa and Melanesia. Islam unit 2. 78 5 . Keeping more than one wife and having more than one child will naturally increase such a home's budget. The benefits of polygamy. 128 AH) and the Philosophers. Altogether, these can promote jealousy among wives and even children, thereby creating enemies and unnecessary commotion in families. Hence, in case you aspire to such a lifestyle, you may have to keep it secret and discrete instead of bragging about it in front of your friends. Religion . I hope you enjoyed the article. It can also lead to gender discrimination; situation whereby one gender is valued than the other, the gender that is less valued tend to get neglected. Plural Marriage in Islam (This is a section taken from an article of Shaikh Al-Fawzn elsewhere on this site). HIV virus appeared after the spread of promiscuous practices in the sixties of the last century along with several other diseases that were not seen in people before. However, cultural or religious traditions made him bring in subsequent wives in a non-formal or non-legal way. Not that this scenario can't happen in monogamy. 2. Furthermore, it could mean negative financial consequences for her and her children, especially in cases of separation. In turn, those children may not get enough food or also not have the opportunity to get proper education or some children will be treated with more care than others. Receive weekly tips & tricks to improve your love life. In many cultures, such as in 815 Words 4 Pages Decent Essays People marry for companionship, start a family, financial support, pressure from parents, etc. Whoever Actualises Tawheed will enter Paradise without a Reckoning: Ahmad An-Najmi, on There Is No Marriage Without A Guardian And The Conditions of a Valid Nikh by Shaikh Al-Fawzn (Bulgh Al-Marm), Polygamy in Islam, and women it is not permitted to marry: (Bulgh al-Marm) by Shaikh al-Fawzn, Advice on Polygynous Marriages And to Women Seeking Marriage in General, The Excellence of Makkah, its History and its Sacredness (The Masjid al-Harm). Different people want different things. Hitherto we have read nothing of Solomon but what was great and good; but the lustre both of his goodness and of his greatness is here sullied and eclipsed, and his sun sets under a cloud. In polygamy, the husband dominates or rules over his wives and children. The Manner of Performing Ghusl (or Bathing) from the State of Janbah due to Sexual Relationsand the Wud alongside the Ghusl. In such a scenario, the legally married wife usually wants to claim the lion's share for her and her children while the other wives will want an equal split. 6 So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done. Younger wives may add to the status and standing of the first wife, while at the same time subtracting from her responsibilities. . A big family has its advantages. That is because the men have to take on the responsibility of maintenance and care over the women, whilst the women are looked after. While there are some advantages to the concept of polygamy, there are also some problems related to it. Perhaps, knowing the purpose of a synthesis essay will help you view the subject in a better light. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. The pros and cons of polygamy are numerous. Now, I'm not trying to use this point to justify adultery or promote polygamy, but let's face it, the alarming rate of divorce proves that the soulmate ideology is laughable. Also, India and most nations governed by Islamic laws are also polygamy-friendly. Even in monogamous societies, men often enter into sexual relationships with other women who . "So the women that you like, two, three, four and many them." (Surah Al-nisa-4:3) God Almighty who has related man knows and is well familiar with him. 2. Many African nations, such as Ghana, Cameroon, Senegal, etc., permit polygamy. Samuel is bent on changing the legal profession by building Web and Mobile Apps that will make legal research a lot easier. Getting bored: Another advantage of polygamous marriage is that there will be lower risk of people getting bored in their marriage after the whole wedding and maybe child bearing couples tend to get bored in the marriage. (2003): A recent shift from polygyny to monogamy in humans is suggested by the analysis of worldwide Y-chromosome diversity. But as I mentioned earlier, we are jealous and territorial creatures and will, at the end of the day, prefer being with someone we can call our own. The United Nations recommends that the union be completely prohibited or discouraged. The soulmate ideology is flawed anyway, 10. Having Varieties: when there is multiple partners you have different varieties. The wives in a polygamy setting are almost always in competition, which can be a good thing as long as it's healthy. Do you think polygamy and arranged marriage would help to lower the divorce rate in our society today? In our current state of the world, most marriages are just maintained since some people are scared to divorce. This may further lead to mental health breakdown. It helps maintain ties between families. A man who takes more than one wife satisfies more of his sexual appetites, signals high social status, and generally feels better about himself. 1. The sad part is, it's not going to be a one-time scenario, especially when the other wife or wives are better than you sexually. In religious perspective, many religious people think that monogamy is the way to go and that anything else is not in line with religious beliefs. What's interesting is that the wives of such alpha males are also placed on the same pedestal society places their husbands, so both husbands and wives sometimes enjoy the praise that comes from polygamy. Older women (usually post-30s), divorcees (or widows), Asalamu aleykum Shaykh, most parents, especially in the west, would never allow their daughters to be a second wife. Whether it's a one-man/multiple women relationship, polyandry, or group marriage, one of the benefits of polygamy (when looking at the pros and cons of the practice), is the low risk of getting bored. 3 He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. 5 Tips to Break the Cycle, 29 Tell-All Signs a Sensitive Guy Likes You (What You Want to Know), 7. Tensions may be reduced by establishing a clear hierarchy among the co-wives, or if the co-wives are sisters (sororal polygyny), or if they each keep a separate household (hut polygyny). The Prophets of God (may Gods peace be upon all of them) would marry numerous wives and engage in polygamy. Genital malignancies especially cancer cervix is directly related to women having multiple sexual partners. 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